I feel like this is the age old question, but one I continue to ask myself.
I am in this strange transitional part of my life where I am trying to decide what direction I want my business to go. That would be the realist in me. The side that is saying ‘Jackilyn, you have to have a business and it has to appeal to peoples needs. You have to have a service that people want to buy and somehow you can incorporate some fun and creativity into it.’ In reality, I just want to be considered an artist. I want to make things and wow people so much that they want to buy my work. I’m not talking a Cricut crafter (no offense to my fellow crafters!), but like a full on make it from the bottom up artist. I love using my hands. Creating makes me feel whole and I just so happen to be good with computers. So the whole web design thing fits in nicely. I will say I am impressed with the fact that some of my visions from my vision board actually became realities in the past year. Such as, being able to have any hair color/style, all the tattoos I want, wear off the wall clothes... I may not have gotten any tattoos or gone crazy with my hair, but I’m finally feeling like my style is evolving into who I actually am. I have spent the better part of my life worrying about ‘dressing appropriately for the job I want’ and ‘looking professional’ by keeping my piercings/tattoos to a minimum. Saying goodbye to that was the most freeing thing that could have come from our restrictive Covid quarantined country. On top of that I was able to take control of my diet and lose the baby weight I had been carrying around since 2015. Between miscarriages and two kids, my body went through a lot to say the least. I finally see food as fuel and understand what that actually means.
In essence, I feel like the things I am doing in my life are sort of like art. Like I am recreating myself into an even better version. I like that feeling and I love being able to spend my days creating things for other people. For now, I am in that transition, but I know one day I’ll make it to the top of my mountain and I can’t wait ✌🏼